I haven't posted in a while, and it looks like my I-got-a-tiny-sewing-machine post hasn't whipped even my regular visitors (Hi, girls!) into a verbal frenzy. Oh, well.
In The Wedding Date, Dermot Mulroney's character (an escort, Nick, who receives far more respect than any female prostitute in cinematic history) states, "Every woman has the exact love life she wants." At later in the movie, he fights with Debra Messing's character and accuses her of choosing to be angry with him and broken-hearted so she would have an excuse for being alone. She wouldn't have to trust someone or risk getting hurt down the line.
At first I had my doubts about Nick's thesis, but with that statement, this blythe little rom-com had my number. The only difference was, I was less afraid of getting my heart broken than falling for someone.
I once had a therapist who, during the last five minutes of our final session, said to me, "What would you do if you met 'the one' tomorrow?" "Say hello?" I replied. "No," she replied, "I mean, what would that do for your plans?" "I guess I'd be screwed." She went on to warn me that I would rarely have access to so many eligible men as during my college years, so I should be open to finding "the one." No pressure, right?
A subsequent therapist laughed when I related that story to him, saying, "You're twenty! You have plenty of time for relationships. Go ahead and focus on your goals and living your life!"
But now I'm 25, and as with anything in life, there has to be a balance. This August, I chose to change my love life. I went on a date for the first time in ages. Now I've been dating Mr. B. for several weeks (during which time I've gone on more dates than during my entire 10-month relationship with my ex, Paul. Love you, Paul!). The point is, I'm trying to be open...but I'm still scared about what it might mean for my future. There are places I want to go in my life and things I want to do. I just don't know if I can if I'm linked to another person.