Except for a cryptic "Say Anything" quote, I haven't posted in 16 days, so I thought I'd bring things up to speed. I did indeed end up going out on March 3 with my friends at Niagra in the Village. We had a nice time chatting. I think I cleaned my room on March 4 (exciting, right?). I worked all week, though I have no memory of it at all. I guessing it was miserable and the children were naughty. It's a pretty safe bet at this point.
On March 9, I'm pretty sure I met up with my friends for Thai food. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure Tom spent the night that night and Saturday night. Huh. On Sunday, March 11, I do know for sure that we walked in the sun and got brunch at Melba's. It was amazing food with the thickest-cut bacon and lightest waffles I've ever had. You know what's weird? Entire weeks of my life have apparently been erased from my memory, but waffles remain.
Monday and Tuesday (March 12 & 13) are also part of the blur. Wednesday I had dinner with Tom. We walked around in snowy Brooklyn. Then we had a fancy dinner. During a particularly contentious theological debate, I ended up telling Tom I love him. He responded, "Thanks, but I don't know what to say," which was rather upsetting and spawned the Cusack quotation. Well, he also said that he didn't want me to think he wasn't taking our relationship seriously, and if he he wasn't we wouldn't still be dating. Okay. Then we went for cheesecake, which was delicious despite the circumstances.
I spent the next day pretty miserable. I tried a little retail therapy, buying two cute dresses and H&M and then spending the last of my Teacher's Choice money at Staples (in NYC they give us $225 to spend on school supplies. Actually, I've long since spent it, but I misplaced some receipts, so I was re-spending my Teacher's Choice cash. Honestly, it just puts a dent in what we all end up spending. Anyway...) That cheered me up a bit. Then Tom and I had an awkward phone conversation. I got very little sleep that night. Friday was awful (horrid children and administrators.) I got home and found my top-choice college (Sarah Lawrence) had rejected my application.
We all trudged through the snow to meet at El Cantinero in the Village. I was pretty darn miserable by that point. Madrid left us after dinner, but Laura, Tom and I moved on to Lit Lounge where Who By Fire (Laura's boyfriend Ryan's band) was playing. Riza and Pete were there, too. The band had a tough show with technical difficulties, but we still had fun. I doled out strawberries that I'd brought with me (they would have gone bad if I'd left them in the fridge all weekend).
Tom and I went to Brooklyn and fell, exhausted, into bed. "Hey, Erin," Tom said, "You know I love you, right?" A million pounds slid off my shoulders, and I kissed him. Moments later, I said to him, "You know you scared the shit out of me, right?" "I'm sorry," he replied. "I don't know why I didn't say it sooner. It's just...I didn't expect you to say it when you did. It was...it wasn't on the tip of my tongue. It was caught in the back of my throat. Then you were so upset. I wanted to say it, but I didn't want you to think I was just saying it to..." "Make me feel better?" "Exactly."
Later we were having some silly conversation about how different people perceive things differently. For example, once I thought I smelled something sweet when he thought he smelled trash. "I can't believe I love someone who likes the smell of garbage." I don't actually like the smell of garbage, but I do like him working love into casual conversation. The freak-out? It is over.